Everyday when I awoke I told myself I would not drink and drug today. Every night before I passed out I told myself I would do better tomorrow. This cycle of addiction, failure and remorse continued year after year. I hit many horrific bottoms and when I told myself it could not possibly get worse…it always did. Addiction is a progressive, terminal disease that always gets worse over time. Looking back, I find it amazing what became acceptable to me. Eventually my situations kept getting worse even faster than I could lower my standards. God blessed me with a brief moment of clarity. It was not the first time I had experienced a moment of clarity but this time was different. I made a decision and follow it by action. That action included entering a program of recovery.
I believe in the 12-step way of life and many people have recovered by attending meetings. I had tried attending meetings but I needed more. I needed to remove myself from the dark environment I had been inhabiting along with all the people I was associating with, so I could focus on my recovery. Making that decision saved my life. The word decision comes from the Latin word “decidere,” which means “cut away.” I had to cut away from my limiting beliefs about myself, about life, about what was acceptable, and become teachable. Being mentored in a focused, controlled environment by people who knew how to get and stay sober saved my life. If you are partying and you like it, that’s your business. If you are still partying and you don’t want to, that’s our business. Today is the day to make a decision. You can step off the elevator on any floor you like. You don’t have to hit the basement. Life can be an exciting adventure not a chore to be endured. Make a decision. Take action. Let go. www.fullrecoverywellnesscenter