Rejection is a major fear for many people. A baseless fear of rejection keeps us from advancing at the level of our capabilities and from taking action, but remember this:
No one can make you feel rejected without your participation and acceptance.
Rather than fearing rejection and not taking action, ask yourself this question: “How defeated will I feel if I don’t try; or how great will I feel when I conquer my fear and move ahead?”
Most successful people have learned to overcome massive amounts of rejection. It takes practice and perseverance to continue on when faced with adversity.
Everyone has come up against challenges or faced rude and obnoxious people. When someone treats me harshly, I remember what Buddha said we should ask ourselves:
“If a man offers you a gift, and you refuse to accept the gift, who does the gift belong to?”
In other words, if someone offers me rudeness or sarcasm, I don’t accept the gift; I continue on my way. He can keep that gift for himself. If someone attempts to make me feel unwanted or inferior, I look at it logically and unemotionally. If this same person called me a billionaire would it make me one dollar richer? Do you see my point?
Another person’s opinion of me is irrelevant. My opinion of me is what counts. One of the ways in which I learned to overcome fear, including my fear of rejection, was to write out some positive affirmations that I committed to memory. I needed to improve my opinion of myself. I was tired of the old negative recording in my head, so I started a practice that continues today. I kept one affirmation on each fingertip of my right hand, and one on each fingertip of my left hand. Here are the five I kept on my right hand at that time.
• God wants me sober.
• God wants me happy.
• God wants me spiritually fit.
• God wants me abundantly wealthy.
• God wants me to help others.
I started my affirmations with the word God after reflecting on my life. As the fog of early recovery began to clear, I started to appreciate the gifts my higher power had given me. Prior to this awakening, my life was one of selfishness and addiction. This unworkable lifestyle culminated in physical, emotional, and mental pain. My affirmations not only reminded me of that fact but also gave me the leverage I needed to stay the course and recover.
My affirmations gave me a quick way of changing my focus when the old recording in my head started playing, but the reasons that I associated with these affirmations allowed me, over time, to reprogram my subconscious mind.
I am not suggesting you need to start your affirmations with the word God unless you feel moved to do so. I am simply showing you an example of the process I used to rewrite the software in my mind. We have all heard of brainwashing. Well, my brain needed washing. By reprogramming the way I communicated with myself, I was able to accept the fact that my Creator equipped me with unlimited potential. Knowing that I am never alone and that my higher power is closer than my breath, has removed all doubt. By realizing that I am a miracle of creation, I can fearlessly press forward, fulfilling my destiny, earning the privilege of being alive.
Understanding—and more important—accepting this fact was a major step in overcoming not only my fear but also my self-imposed limitations. Fear keeps you from experiencing life to its fullest. It keeps you from giving of yourself and your wealth, as you should. You fear that there will not be enough left when you need it. You’re afraid that people will take advantage of you and your generosity.
In reality, just the opposite is true.
Remember the golden rule? Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. In reality it is, do it to others and it will be done to you. The best way to overcome the fear of what others are going to do to you is to generously contribute to others. If you contribute your time, wisdom, and material blessings, you will attract the same gifts to yourself.
Take some time today to write out your affirmations, write them out on your fingertips so you can keep them as a quick reminder throughout your day. When the old negative thoughts start creeping into your head, read your affirmations and know that you are capable of each and every one. Program yourself to believe this, because your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters and the only one that can hold you back.